In hillbilly news, TMZ is reporting that Honey Boo Boo Child’s mom, Mama June Shannon, has lost 100 pounds without anyone noticing.
She attributes the life change to her active lifestyle… yeah.
So, because she’s not giving up the details, here are some guesses at how the redneck reality matriarch dropped the poundage…
Wheat Pasta in ‘Sketti’: Getting rid of the refined flour in Mama June’s diet could have really helped her drop glucose levels. Plus, it probably binds better with all the ketchup sauce.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter: Butter, another key ingredient in the sketti recipe, could easily be substituted with a less fatty alternative.
Big Winnin’ at Bingo: More winning, means more trips to the prize table. Which—in turn—means more calories burned.
Losing the Remote: Like winning at Bingo, this daily frustration requires physical effort to sort out.
Hog Tying: It’s the official sport of her peoples, so no doubt she’s partaking in it. Chasing down pigs has surely helped June get into better shape.
Sex: Yeah, we went there… As painful as it is to picture, there’s no doubt in our minds that, since becoming a celebrity, Mama is getting some—over and over again…
She Read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ While Watching ‘Twilight’: It's a diet regiment that could easily get any lady hot and bothered enough to burn fat. Maybe, just maybe, Mama June has stumbled onto this idea.
Red Carpet Ready: Has all the success gone to her head enough to have Mama thinking “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” could earn an Emmy? We surely hope not, otherwise she’ll be extremely disappointed.