Adam Sandler Quotes

 

My wife let me get a transgender housekeeper. To have just one other penis in the house.

2013

 

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

2013

 

If I do die, itll be in America. And it wont be on a snowboard. Itll either be on a toilet or hanging from a belt, naked.

2013

 

You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.

2013

 

I often slip into costume as the lead character in whatever bedtime story I am reading. This is a little weird because my daughters love Disney princesses. But you would be surprised at how good I look in a ball gown.

2013

 

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

2013

 

I don`t laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I'd see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don't laugh.

2013

 

Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.

2013

 

God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.

2013

 

I've been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I'm driving, I hear I'm a moron. I like being a moron.

2013

 

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.

2013

 

Now I realize how ugly I am.

2013

 

I'm not comfortable being around too many people. I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff. So most of the characters I play are people who don't always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends.

2013

 

When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I'm so happy I did a nice thing.

2013

 

I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect.

2013

 

My name is Adam Sandler. I'm not particularly talented. I'm not particularly good-looking. And yet I'm a multi-millionaire.

2013

 

As a kid, I'd go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I'd be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.

2013

 

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

2013